


This is What I Need

by graceolina37



Category: Rise (TV 2018)
Genre: M/M, also a little sweet, also jeremys mom is here!!, this is a lil angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 16:05:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14429205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graceolina37/pseuds/graceolina37
Summary: Simon goes through some stuff and finally realizes what he needs. set right after 1x7





	This is What I Need

**Author's Note:**

> okay i tried my best but this is basically what i think happened after simon cried in anabelles room. also this title sucks sorry.

He didn't know why he was even there, but he definitely knew that he shouldn't be. He should just go home and have his feelings there, but it didn't feel right to go face his parents right now. He stood on the doorstep for a good few minutes before he worked up the nerve to ring the doorbell. It was only about eight o'clock so he didn't think he had to worry about waking anyone up.

It was only a second before a woman opened the door. Simon was sure he was a sight to see. His hair was rumpled and his palms were sweaty. He knew he looked like a mess. But his appearance actually pretty well matched his mind.

“Can I help you?” the woman asked kindly.

“I'm a friend of Jeremys, I just need to talk to him about a, uh, school thing. Is he here?”

“Yeah he is, I’ll call him down for you.”

“Jeremy!” she yelled “come down here please!”

Simon heard footsteps coming down the stairs, followed by an exasperated “yeah mom?”

Simon looked up upon hearing the voice and saw Jeremys face. He felt a pang in his chest, he didn't know if it was because he was glad to see him or because he was afraid of what that meant.

“Simon?” Jeremy said. He looked surprised to see him.

“This is Simon?” Jeremy's mom asked as a big smile appeared on her face. Oh this was great. Jeremy's mom knows about him, which means Jeremy has probably been thinking a lot about their parking lot encounter. He didn't know if that was good or bad, judging on the fact that he had been thinking about it too, despite several efforts to push it out of his mind. When he thought about those efforts his heart squeezed, and he remembered the reason why he was here. 

“Mom!” Jeremy said, clearly unamused with her question. 

“Okay, I’ll give you two a minute to talk about your “school thing”,” she said as she left the doorway and disappeared somewhere inside the house.

Jeremy went over to the door and opened it all the way.

“Do you want to come inside?” Jeremy asked. He could tell that something was off about Simon, and he didn't know about the school thing his mom mentioned, so he figured something must have been up.

Simon just nodded and hurried in side.

“Are you okay?” Jeremy started

“Can we just talk for a minute?” Simon asked in a shaky voice, his eyes staring at the floor. 

“Yeah of course,” Jeremy said, “we can go up to my room if you want?” he was speaking slowly and softly, not wanting to accidently scare off the other boy like had so many times before.

Luckily Simon just nodded and followed Jeremy as he led the way up the stairs. When they got up to his room, Jeremy closed his door and went over to sit in the chair by his desk, facing Simon who was awkwardly just standing there.

“So…” Jeremy started.

“I'm sorry,” Simon said, his voice shaky as if he was choking back tears, “it's just that I didn't know where else to go, and I’m kind of freaking out a little bit and I have no idea why it’s just that everything is all messed up and everything I do just feels wrong and I don't know how to fix it and I-” Simon had to stop talking in order to keep himself from crying loudly. Used both of his hands to cover his eyes, pinching his mouth into a tight line.

However, no matter how hard Simon tries not to cry, he couldn’t help it. And when Jeremy came over to put a hand on his shoulder, Simon turned into his side and let the encounter become a hug. And even though he didn't want to admit it, in that moment Simon couldn't think of anything more comforting.

As Simon calmed down a little bit, Jeremy led them over to sit on the edge of his bed. Simon sat with his hands in his lap while Jeremy watched him fidget somewhat nervously. Simon wouldn’t look at Jeremy, not even when he spoke.

“Do you want to tell me what this is about?” Jeremy asked tentatively. Simon said nothing, it was like he was in another place, or maybe just trapped inside his own mind. He just stared straight ahead and did not give the other boy an answer.

“Simon, hey” Jeremy said, grabbing Simons hand to stop him from nervous movement, “talk to me,” he finished.

Simon had stopped moving at this point and turned his head to face Jeremy. He looked at the boy for a moment before speaking.

“You know the other day, how we talked about Annabelle, and that stuff?”

Jeremy knew, but honestly it still stung a little bit, so he just looked down and nodded.

“Well, I, the thing is, I tried but-” Simon was struggling to put how he felt in words. Honestly, he barely knew himself how he felt, so he decided he would just have to show it.

Simon reached his free hand up to lightly touch Jeremys chin. The two boys locked eyes before Simon pressed their lips together. The kiss was soft and short, but still more thrilling and beautiful than anything either of them had ever experienced. As they pulled apart, they lingered a moment before Simon pulled back to look directly into Jeremys eyes.

“This,” he finally continued, “This feels more real than… than anything.” Simon turned more toward Jeremy so he could hold both of his hands. 

“And even though I know it's wrong, and that-” Simon paused for a moment and looked slightly down. He didn't even want to think about his family right now, and the implications that this situation would have on other aspects of his life. Jeremy squeezed his hands knowingly though, and that was what he needed to move on.

“But even with everything, I can't deny this,” Simon held their hands up to reference their undeniable chemistry, “you've tried to tell me, and I’ve tried to ignore it, but the truth is you were right,” Jeremy smiled hopefully at this, “we have something.” 

Jeremy felt nothing but happiness and relief in that moment. He knew that there could be future problems and that this could all come crashing down in less than a second, but for now he just wanted to be here. And he wanted to be grateful, at least, that he didn't make this all up in his head. The boy he liked liked him back. And for now that was enough. He unclasped their hands and used his to gently cup Simons face while the boy began to ramble on again.

“And I need time to really figure this out but-” Simon was interrupted when Jeremy pressed their lips together once more. He was slightly taken aback at first, but he eventually relaxed into the kiss. This one lasted longer, they took their time, and Jeremy eventually pulled back to look at the other boy.

“We’ll figure this out,” Jeremy said, “together.”

Simon pulled Jeremy in for another kiss, only to have it broken again.

“Whatever you need,” Jeremy continued.

Simon moved forward to rest their foreheads together, slowing moving his thumb across Jeremys cheek.

“This,” he said, “this is what I need.”

And it was true. Sure, he scared, and very, very confused, but he wasn't alone. There was someone right next to him, with warm hands and soft lips, that was going through the same thing he was. He wasn't alone. And to know that he didn't have to do this all by himself, that was what made Simon realize that someday, even if it wasn't soon, everything would be okay. Because he had this. And, for now at least, it felt like this was really all that he needed.


End file.
